The Paradoxical Nature of Female Sexual Activity in Western Culture

Although the excerpt we read was a bit drawn out and somewhat repetitive, Marilyn Frye’s writing concerning oppression raised many interesting points on society’s tendencies to mislabel issues involving gender.  One part that especially caught my eye was her criticism of the seemingly unsolvable paradox many women in western culture find themselves in.  “…women, especially younger women, are in a bind where neither sexual activity nor sexual inactivity is all right” (Frye, Page 85). This is a facet of female life that I constantly come into contact with, yet understand so little of, which is actually a bit remarkable considering my age group has a fairly big hand in the whole ordeal. While both men and women are often critiqued for sexual inactivity as they enter the prime of their teenage years and beyond, disapproval of sexual activity is simply an issue the vast majority of men don’t ever encounter, let alone comprehend.

I certainly can’t speak on behalf of the gay community, but for heterosexual teenage guys, our culture is one where we get to to reap almost all the benefits of sexual activity while avoiding most of the consequences that our female counterparts have to endure.  It’s a tale as old as time: If a guy hooks up with a bunch of girls, he’s an absolute stud, if a girl does the same thing then she’s a slut.  It occurred to me that this might has to do with the support system the two genders are surrounded by. If I were to go out and have sex with three different girls this weekend, then sure, I would most likely be labeled as a “man whore” or a “player” by other girls. However, I’d also be high-fiving all my guy friends and being told over and over what a “savage” or “stud” I am. If a girl were to do this, not only would she be labeled as a “slut” or “whore” by most guys, but unlike us, she wouldn’t necessarily be able to fall back on positive reinforcement by her own gender in the same way. In no way am I claiming that the stigma against a sexually active woman is solely the fault of women, because it’s not. I’m simply stating the realities of the world we live in, which is that many women can be just as quick as men to condone large amounts of sexual activity by women.

            This condemnation by women doesn’t just apply to other women, but also themselves. This occurred to me when I was talking with a friend of mine and the conversation turned to our weekends. She proceeded to giggle and tell me how she had “a slutty weekend” because she hooked up with a bunch of guys. Her act of getting with multiple guys wasn’t what stood out to me, but rather the terminology she used to describe the act. She talked about her own sexual activity as if was a debaucherous act, using “slutty” as the first adjective as opposed to “fun” or “exciting", even though those were also apparent elements of her weekend.

            While I don’t agree with all of Frye’s views, her points about the paradoxical nature of women’s sexual activity in western culture has certainly made me more aware of the toxic attitude our society has imposed on women.