Sex Under Pressure

Quinell Feder

            In Scott Anderson's paper Sex Under Pressure; he questions the definition of consent and the effects our hierarchical society has on the decision to consent. He discusses the ethicality of sexual coercion. Anderson poses the question, is consent really consent if you were pushed or coerced into saying yes? Examples of such pressures are wheedling, whining, emotional manipulation, mild intimidation, petty deceits, and threats to alter or end one’s relationship with someone who refuses to bend to one’s will.

             Sarah Conly’s perspective states, “We must not deny the validity of a woman's consent to sex, even where she is pressured by a jerk.” Conly’s claims that sexual coercion is ethical unless a threat posed. Under Conly’s perspective you must feel fear or the presence of a threat in order for ethical question to be asked. For example a boss firing his employee if she doesn’t have sex with him is not ethical according to Conly. But Anderson argues that her perspective is still not dealing with why a woman would consent if she didn’t want to have sex. In class we talked about sorority girls having sex with guys in order to impress her sisters, even though she could regret the decision. Although women have the ability to make a decision for her own wellbeing, we must not deny the presence of external forces on her decision to consent. Anderson’s perspective brings in external factors to be a greater cause for a woman to consent than Conly notes.

            I agree with Anderson, while I as a woman feel 100% confident that if I don’t want to have sex with someone I will say no. But consent doesn’t always work in such simple ways. I have witnessed the strongest most intelligent women be effected by the intimidation and sexual pressure of a man for his own benefit. I have witnessed what seems like “forced consent” in relationships of the ones I love. Men who use these tactics are often low in self of steam, so to make up for that lack of confidence they use intimidation and control to build themselves up at the expense of another. While he rises from this disgusting form of a confidence boost, the women are often silenced. This can continue on for years and turns into a relationship based off the woman being a sexual object at the mans disposal for years. After a while she stops fighting or saying no, but that’s not to say this isn’t wrong. “Some, however, have linked seduction with rape, not so much to urge that the law treat seducers and rapists alike, but rather to point out the similarity of the powers and impositions frequently manifested in both. (355)”. The intention of rapists and men who use sexual pressure are often the same, one approach is just more physical and violent where as the other is more mental. Although sexual pressure doesn’t always fall under the definition of rape, relationships of sexual intimidation is still a form of severe oppression and often in the most intimate long lasting of circumstances.