Yes is Better Than No

In Michael Kimmel and Gloria Steinem’s “’Yes’ Is Better Than ‘No’” they speak of there needing to be a change in the grays area between “yes” and “no”. If a person explicitly says “no” and still encounter sexual activities, they are considered being raped. The gray area is if there is neither a “yes” or “no” being said. If nothing is being said it does not automatically mean “yes”. The Senate Bill 967 in California tries to change this gray area in college campuses because the only way sex is consensual is if both partners mutually agree (it can’t be implied, there has to be verbal communication).

            I agree that there needs to be a dramatic change on the gray areas between “yes” and “no”, especially on college campuses. Just because a person does not say “no” certainly does not mean they want sex. Just because a person is intoxicated and they physically are not capable if explicitly saying “no” does not mean that they are inviting someone to come and assault them.  What is most interesting about this article is the backfire that was given when talked about there needing to be a verbal consent. According to Charlton Heston “at Antioch College in Ohio, young men seeking intimacy with a coed must get verbal permission at each step of the process from kissing to petting to final copulation- all clearly spelled out in a printed college directive”. As shocking as it is to see that an educated, well-respected man could take “yes” means “yes” as a joke, it is not surprising. It is even more interesting that this speech was given at Harvard University. Harvard University is known to not punish students who have sexually assaulted other students. In The Hunting Ground a woman was sexually assaulted and got the assaulter kicked out of school. Without her knowing, Harvard University overturned the appeal and let him back in school. Like many other people in this world, people are having a hard time agreeing that silence does not mean they are consenting. People say “if the person did not want it, they could have said ‘no’”. A male stated “If I have to ask those questions, I won’t get what I want”. I have two arguments for that statement: number one is if you have a feeling that it is potentially morally wrong, how could one risk that? Number two would be that people like to hear the word “yes”. The word “yes” brings reassurance and it makes people want to do more acts, you never have to question if they are enjoying their time.  

            Society’s view on the gray area between “yes” and “no” needs to be changed. The Senate Bill 967 in California is a start but there needs to be more progression on college campuses. This can happen by bringing more knowledge that silence does not mean “yes”.