'Yes' Is Better Than 'No' by Michael Kimmel and Gloria Steinem

The title of Michael Kimmel and Gloria Steinem’s piece on consensual sex on college campuses says it all: ‘Yes’ Is Better Than ‘No’. In this article, they discuss the implementation of Senate Bill 967 in California, which simply states that in order for sex on college campuses to be considered consensual, a verbal ‘yes’ is needed, not just a lack of a ‘no’. While this seems more than logical to myself, the authors, and hopefully the majority of the population, this is apparently not the case. The authors bring up a very interesting point that I have often thought but have never been able to articulate, “But seriously, since when is hearing ‘yes’ a turnoff?” The most obvious explanation is that regarding rape culture. To put it simply, when women are forced into lower societal ranks, lesser career paths, and degraded as sex objects by walking down the street from childhood, it is tragically not shocking that consent would be seen as “unsexy”. Women have been told since biblical times that virginity is a sign of purity, and any woman who is sexually active must be some loose derivation of a prostitute. On the other side of things, men are taught from day one that it’s cool to be a ladies man, and the sense of “healthy” competition they feel with their brethren when discussing how sexually active they are is a thing of praise. In black and white terms, men are encouraged to be having sex while women are discouraged from it. This inherently creates the perfect environment to foster a lack of consent. While, quite frankly, disgusting, it is not surprising that a lifetime of living with these societal standards creates a toxic environment for women to say yes. We are not instructed to do so, and men are instructed that it’s not sexy if a women is “easy”, or “gives it away”. Therefore, the objection that ‘yes’ is an unsexy term is not nonsensical looking at today’s society, but it certainly cannot be acceptable. Laws such as Senate Bill 967 are a ray of hope when it comes to legally trying to rid society of rape culture. Social implications that are not related to law clearly have a long way to go, but we must start somewhere. Kimmel and Steinem are completely correct when they say “‘Yes means yes’ is clearly saner…” Hopefully society will one day allow them to be correct about the latter half of that sentence, “… — and sexier.”